I once was lost but now I'm found

It's been very apparent to me how complacent I am, and also how much of a facade I put on in front of other people. Because being vulnerable is not desirable in this world. It's better to put on a strong face than show people you are weak. But the Lord says, 'My grace is sufficient for you.   My power is strongest when you are weak.'  So why do you still pretend to be strong? Why do you pretend that things are ok? Why aren't you seeking Christ?

Who am I to doubt your love for me, O Lord? The love that is so extravagant, so lavishing, how could I forget such a wonderful gift?  Who am I to look down upon myself and forget you are my creator? How can I forget that you created me in your image? I am the result of your handiwork, how can I say that your creation isn't good enough.  Who am I to not trust in your words? How could I forget the grace you have so mercifully bestowed upon me. Me who is so undeserving.  How could I try to contain you O Lord. You who is greater than the heavens.  Your greatness and your love cannot be described in words.  Praise be to God. 

I felt the need to sit down and wrestle with this a little and perhaps give myself a little debrief session.  I have a group assignment that requires discussion and presentation about my individual world views. There were a bunch of questions that helped unpack this, and my group and were going through them and talking about what we thought about it. Some of these questions included, "Is there a God?", "What is God's role in human affairs?", "Who or what made the world?" In my group of four, 3 members are non-Christians, 2 of which are my best friends.  As we were going through the questions, I became increasingly anxious and unsettled. I found myself being unable to elaborate on my views as a Christian and felt extremely intimidated. I felt ashamed of myself because I couldn't share my faith openly. And I know it's because I was afraid of judgement. Afraid of the way they would perceive me.  I'm sorry Dad.  I'm sorry t...