I once was lost but now I'm found

Seeiously about to break down on the train because I'm really stressed. The reality of exams is getting to me and I can't do this.

You know when you consciously tell yourself not to do something, but do it anyway? Well, yeh, I was consciously telling myself to not join in the gossip, but I did it anyway! I don't even know why I did that! Sorry Daddy :( Whatever I say probably makes you angry right now, but please forgive me. :( And help me to not do it again! Help me to hold my tongue. /Cries I know you hate it when I sin continuously, and I seriously want to know why you sent your awesome son to die for me even though I'm so sinful. So, so, so sinful. :( But either why, I'm grateful. Very very very grateful. Please do forgive me for gossiping. I love you Daddy!

Stop trying so hard to fit in. Your identity shouldn't be in the people around you, they're not going to be there forever. They will do things that hurt you, even unintentionally. So stop, find your identity in Christ instead. He is the one you should look to, always. When everyone else hurts you, he will be your only comfort. He is your eternal God.

Last night he called again. And you know what I hate myself for? Never having the courage to say "stop calling me". Annie, why are you such a chicken :( Why are you so scared anyway?

The most beautiful words I've heard this whole week are, "I think I'm already there."  (context)  A friend who came to church around 2 months ago (and who I've become quite close to), has somewhere along the way already accepted Jesus as her saviour! Was asking thoughts on RICE and she answered with the above words.  YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Thank you Jesus for saving Christine. :) Thank you for adopting her into your family, and revealing to her your great love for us.  Please keep working in her so that she may become a woman, proud to call your her God, her King and her Father.  God, you work in such mysteriously wonderful ways. I can't ever fully comprehend your ways, but I know that you are working in those who love you and call your their Lord and Saviour. And I know you love us, even more than we could ever love you.  On a different note, sorry Daddy for sinning again. I seem to always fall into Satan's trap.  I always, always feel so guilty and ashame...

Spent the last hour or so chatting with a brother and encouraging him, trying to bring him back to God. I've realised how hypocritical I can be...I really need to take my own advice. :( "Go to your bros and sis'" "Pray." "Read." These are things I myself have to do as well. *sigh* Annie Yan, take your own advice and do these things. geez.

So, my relationship with mum has evidently gotten better since the time when we cried/prayed together. God works in amazing ways. Dad and I are slowly getting better. As slow as a snail I must say, but hey, trust and wait on the Lord. I can't tell if my friendships are better or worse...I'm close to a few, but feel really awkward around others. Maybe it's just me being awkward...maybe they don't feel awkward at all. My sister and I...we're doing better. I haven't gone off at her in a long while, which is REALLY GOOD. Really need to understand that we are different, and I can't expect a certain behaviour from her. God and I are good too. Hehe, YAY DADDY! Gotta really keep working at this relationship though. But it's okay, because I know God is working at it too. :3 On that same note, it's been hard for me to grasp creationism vs evolution/Darwinism. Especially since studying it in biology. I believe God made everything, but I can't help but t...