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urgh.

can't take this anymore.
fudge. might as well end life. URGH.

"never let go of something you love"
"sometimes letting go is the best option"

what am i supposed to do ):


o-o" my close sister and brother in christ are somehow fighting >.> aishhhh. i don't know what happened. but my sis hasn't been coming to church and my bro is full raging ><" what to do.
><

stressssssss. it's like...end of my exams. and i'm still stressingggggg. i really can't relax. you were right bro ): i'm not relaxed.

stomach painnnnn. >.>
MRI on mondayyy. D:

brighter side.
...
B2ST. LIGHTS GO ON AGAIN. <3
china soon. (:

dark side.
...
shit life.
problems flying.
brain is dying. i don't have a brain to begin with.
should just go an die.
not worthy of life.
why was i born to begin with?

bev's question.
love is strange. painful. happy. confusing. stressful. all these different emotions mixed together to make love. a chemical reaction with emotions. love is like chocolate. sweet yet you get sick of it. love is like a rollercoaster. up and down. love is like dark chocolate. sweet yet bitter. love. is anything you think it is. there are many ways to define love. it depends in your feelings.

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A "short" update

Huh, it's been quite a while since I've posted here. Trials are creeping closer and closer, and you can't say I'm not stressed. But at the same time I haven't been the most productive person...in fact, I must say I'm very lazy. Less than 2 weeks til trials and I'm sitting here writing a blog. Here's how I've been going. All the drama's died down since last time, thankfully. I'm learning to let it go and not let it bother me as much. At the moment it seems that my parents are keeping a close watch on my sister, and God willing, it won't happen again. In terms of Barney, I can't say I don't have feelings towards him anymore, but it has been better. I guess I'm able to be comfortable around him again. My pain has returned, but what can I do. My menstrual cycle is currently terrible- I think I've bled for almost a month now. The pain is as usual, a pain- especially to manage because my meds haven't been of use lately....

Apparently not stressed enough.

Why don't my parents do the HSC if they think it's so easy? So, basically, I got my report last night and when my dad saw it, he just kept repeating the fact that my marks were crap and that I'm doing horribly. "You should be the top of the school" My mum wasn't any better, saying that I didn't do well and I need to work harder. Why do they only look at extension maths? I KNOW I FAILED IT. As if I don't feel crappy already. Don't cry. You can't cry.  You're not allowed to cry.

Faithful

A timely reminder in the midst of chaos.