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I can't.

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By Annie

Typing this with the bigfest headache I've ever had. It's killing me!!!
anyway. Straight to the point.
It feels as though every time I open my mouth, something disgusting will come out. Like...gossip, or words I haven't processed before speaking, thus hurting people, or just those disgusting words. Oh and also self-centered words. I don't want to turn out like that. Dad? What are you trying to tell me in this trial? What are you teaching me?
I don't feel that I can open my mouth without hurting people.

Also...
My thoughts. Self-centered thoughts. I don't even know what's going on...it's messed up in there. "She feels distant" "She doesn't love me" "I'm unimportant" "What if she hates me?"
Everything is me me me. I HATE ITTTT. IT'S SO SELF-CENTERED. GAHH.
It's back. The loneliness. I don't want it. I hate it. It feels horrible. I have God.
I have an amazing Father.
WHY? What are you telling me dad?

Seriously going to explode.
There's more.
"What if he's annoyed with me?" "What if he hates me?"
Gahh. I hate these thoughts and yet I can't stop them. The insecurity I feel...it hurts.
I'm tired.
Really tired.
I don't know what to do ):

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