Skip to main content

Yearning.

Image
By Annie

Sudden realisation as to how much I yearn for love. It's the cause of the insecurity I feel right?
Empty 'I love you' phrases don't seem to satisfy me.
Everytime I shout 'you love me', it's only because I want them to say yes.

Mum and dad don't look like they love me. Mum always seems annoyed, dad seems too busy to care an when he does, he only says I'm useless. However much I know they love me, it doesn't satisfy me.

I know God loves me. That I definitely know. He loves me so much He sent his son to die for me. But I don't feel close to Him at all. He's like a distant father. He loves me from a distant. I'm okay with that.

I just want to feel loved and cared for.
But I'm not feeling it. Not with friends, not with family. :/

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A "short" update

By Annie
Huh, it's been quite a while since I've posted here. Trials are creeping closer and closer, and you can't say I'm not stressed. But at the same time I haven't been the most productive person...in fact, I must say I'm very lazy. Less than 2 weeks til trials and I'm sitting here writing a blog. Here's how I've been going. All the drama's died down since last time, thankfully. I'm learning to let it go and not let it bother me as much. At the moment it seems that my parents are keeping a close watch on my sister, and God willing, it won't happen again. In terms of Barney, I can't say I don't have feelings towards him anymore, but it has been better. I guess I'm able to be comfortable around him again. My pain has returned, but what can I do. My menstrual cycle is currently terrible- I think I've bled for almost a month now. The pain is as usual, a pain- especially to manage because my meds haven't been of use lately....
Post a Comment
More, More, More! >>

Apparently not stressed enough.

By Annie
Why don't my parents do the HSC if they think it's so easy? So, basically, I got my report last night and when my dad saw it, he just kept repeating the fact that my marks were crap and that I'm doing horribly. "You should be the top of the school" My mum wasn't any better, saying that I didn't do well and I need to work harder. Why do they only look at extension maths? I KNOW I FAILED IT. As if I don't feel crappy already. Don't cry. You can't cry.  You're not allowed to cry.
Post a Comment
More, More, More! >>
By
ANNOYING LIFE. I was in quite a good mood this morning...i was happy to be able to see a certain someone for 2hrs. i was happy to be around friends. bible study was fun too. even the afternoon was awesomee. yumcha, fbing,msning. BUT... during piano lessons, the teacher angry at me for not practicing when i had already tried my best. my mum started saying things that i don't like to hear. and my dad lectured me. that really turned my mood off. during the WHOLE car trip i was staring out th window thinking and feeling sad. i really wanted to back-chat to them, but i knew i couldn't. so i was just ignoring it...i was thinking to myself: why do my parents have to set high standards for me? why do they think i can't do things when i can if i try. why do they keep pressuring me? they just don't know that the more pressure they put on me, the earlier i will give up something. even if it's something i like to do. i think being around friends is the happiest moment fo...
Post a Comment
More, More, More! >>