I once was lost but now I'm found

I don't know of I'm just really stressed or what, but every single night's sleep has been horrid. Pretty much every night, I've woken up almost every hour or every 2 hours. When I don't wake up, I get nightmares that make me wake up anyway. It's not that I'm not tired too- when I go to bed, I'm downright exhausted. *Sigh* Not sure if I should check it out with a gp. Gah idk. We'll see in a few days.

Read a couple of Psalms today- they are absolutely amazing. Such great reminders of God's faithfulness to his people. "I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted. I remembered you, oh God and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint. You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak." Psalm 77:1-4 Just v4 was such great comfort- even though I'm always really tired, even though a lot of the time I'm reluctant to read the Bible and even though I stress out a lot about the HSC (so much that it's consuming my life), God is the one keeping me alive, keeping my fire going so that I can push through the year. God is the one who keeps me in His love, reminding me that HSC isn't the most important, there are much greater things.

I haven't written in quite a long time, and honestly, it's not because nothing's going on. On several occasions I had wanted to write something, but I guess a part of me felt like if I wrote it up, I had to deal with it, and I didn't want that. (Yes, avoiding problems) And even though I still don't want to deal with it, I figured it'd be good to let it out here so I wouldn't be bottling things up again. The first thing is that the loneliness/worthless thoughts are back. No matter how many times I'm told, "you're not useless, you're not worthless, you're precious in God's sight", it just never stops the thinking. This time however, I know it's for 'good' reason, something I do need to repent of rather than beating myself up with it. I feel that a lot of the time, I'm not as godly as I should be. For example the time when my friend thought I was going to swear- is that how people see me? Or when I just listen alo...