I once was lost but now I'm found

We grieve and mourn over our perishing bodies, but what have we to lose. Though outwardly we waste away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. Our outwardly worries achieve for us the eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Cor 4:16-17) We await a new body that is imperishable, raised in glory and power, a spiritual body. (1 Cor 15:42-44) Rather than wasting our efforts worrying for our appearances, look forward to the eternal glory with awaits us. And it's not like the youngins will find us ugly :P Look at us, "old grannies are cute", we always say.

Tonight, my sister cried out for me to help her and I felt utterly helpless. I don't know the full story of what happened, but I had seen enough to realise how unfair and unreasonable my parents can be. They threatened to kick her out if she had done anything she shouldn't have instead of sitting down to talk it through with her. My sister, in fear, cried and cried, and yet, I sat there, feeling useless and disappointed. The one time I should've stepped in, I didn't because I myself also fear being scolded and having old scars that sealed my inadequacy re-open. Now, I sit here, wallowing in regret. I really can't do anything right can I?

I'm drowning myself in music right now because I'm afraid of what's going on outside. I'm afraid that it's going to be shouting over the same darn thing that has been recurring over this year, and I'm not ready for the heartbreak all over again. I'm afraid of understanding the situation knowing that it will only cause unwanted disappointment and tears. A part of me just doesn't want to get involved, but at the same time I know that it will be inevitable as soon as I step out of this room. Where is the love I so desire from this family? Why are the voices outside only filled with anger, disappointment and sadness? My comfort can only be found in Christ Jesus. Your love will stand firm through all my life.