Today was a huge turning point in my walk with God. Lately, I've been very unmotivated to go to church and just down and not very happy with where I am with God. Everything felt like a chore, and I was just not genuine in my service and in anything related to God. I couldn't have genuine fellowship with brothers and sisters. I could attribute it to stress, but I know it was a deeper issue than that.
I went to women's conference not really feeling up for it, and my heart just wasn't in it. I was singing songs to God, but they were just a bunch of words. There was no element of worship or praise, just songs. It just felt so wrong.
But, one thing that really convicted me was the final talk, which was on needing a change in what shapes me. The speaker spoke of how you could relent to the world's desires and let it shape you, and go with the flow. Let the world press you into a mold. Or you could be shaped by the word of God which is within you. You can be a woman of God who is transformed and renewed by the Holy Spirit. By the end of the talk, I realised that my true identity cannot lie in how the world perceives me, or whether I fit in or not. One thought would not leave my mind (and it was such a reassuring thought compared to all the stress thoughts that had been running through my mind). As you are shaped by the word within you, you will know how to live in the world around you. I want to be a woman who is shaped by the word of God within me. I want to be transformed by the Holy Spirit. I want to grow in wisdom.
In my entire walk with God, this was the first time that I had ever consciously desired to grow in Him. I don't think I've ever desired so much to read His word and soak it in.
Lord,
You are such a powerful God. Your grace and mercy are in such abundance that none can fathom it. Thank you that your desire to have a relationship with me. Sorry for all the times I have been ingenuine in my worship of you. Sorry for all the times I have turned my back to you with my ears blocked and failed to listen to you. I am a dirty sinner. I am unworthy of your grace. Yet you still lavished it on me. Thank you. Please transform and shape me into a woman who is Christ-like. Use your word to renew my mind, and teach me to love and trust your wholeheartedly. Grow me in wisdom so that my will may be aligned with yours, just as Jesus' was. Take and use me to love and serve you and others with all my heart. Amen.
I went to women's conference not really feeling up for it, and my heart just wasn't in it. I was singing songs to God, but they were just a bunch of words. There was no element of worship or praise, just songs. It just felt so wrong.
But, one thing that really convicted me was the final talk, which was on needing a change in what shapes me. The speaker spoke of how you could relent to the world's desires and let it shape you, and go with the flow. Let the world press you into a mold. Or you could be shaped by the word of God which is within you. You can be a woman of God who is transformed and renewed by the Holy Spirit. By the end of the talk, I realised that my true identity cannot lie in how the world perceives me, or whether I fit in or not. One thought would not leave my mind (and it was such a reassuring thought compared to all the stress thoughts that had been running through my mind). As you are shaped by the word within you, you will know how to live in the world around you. I want to be a woman who is shaped by the word of God within me. I want to be transformed by the Holy Spirit. I want to grow in wisdom.
In my entire walk with God, this was the first time that I had ever consciously desired to grow in Him. I don't think I've ever desired so much to read His word and soak it in.
Lord,
You are such a powerful God. Your grace and mercy are in such abundance that none can fathom it. Thank you that your desire to have a relationship with me. Sorry for all the times I have been ingenuine in my worship of you. Sorry for all the times I have turned my back to you with my ears blocked and failed to listen to you. I am a dirty sinner. I am unworthy of your grace. Yet you still lavished it on me. Thank you. Please transform and shape me into a woman who is Christ-like. Use your word to renew my mind, and teach me to love and trust your wholeheartedly. Grow me in wisdom so that my will may be aligned with yours, just as Jesus' was. Take and use me to love and serve you and others with all my heart. Amen.
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