I once was lost but now I'm found

It's been a very tough night. But, I have to act like nothing's happening because I can't let my parents see me break down. It will only put more stress onto them. I need put a smile back on my face, and let things fall into place. It'll be tough, but God is in control. I will trust in Him through it all. Smile, and let it be.

I don't know how to deal with another "pregnancy" scare. WHY IN MY HSC YEAR? Seriously. Is there not enough I have to stress about? An I not panicking enough? Because I feel like I'm at the edge of breaking down with everything going on already, so why is there another thing added to my list. I haven't even fully recovered from the last time, and here comes another one. Let's hope that it isn't real, and the results don't come up positive. Dad, I know I'm being really selfish when I say this, but I really don't want to have to call up to plan another abortion. I've really had enough of it. I pray that you protect Alice, keeping her under your wing. Please, let this be just a scare, and not the actual thing. (For lack of a better word) Dad, I'm so mentally tired. I really cannot have anything else barge into my life and have me solve it. You said that you won't give us more than we can take. I trust that you will carry my burdens...

I'm probably thinking too far ahead into the future but I look forward to being able to have adult to adult chats with my brother. Just thinking about how fast he's growing up scares me, but at the same time excites me. To have watched him grow up, from infant till now is just so amazing. Dad, For Henry, I pray that he grows up to be a man who loves and fears you. Who sees you grace and mercy and wants to live according to your will. May I be a good witness to him as he is growing up and teach him what it means to be a child of God.

I'm finding it a little hard to forgive my friends for the practical joke they played on me today. To think they thought it was funny to take my things and hide them in empty lockers. Although I wasn't very happy with that, I think the main reason I'm finding it hard to forgive is that they didn't apologise, but rather placed the blame on me for leaving my things unattended while I went to my locker. Not only that, but refusing to help me find my things until the final second before the bell went for break to be over. I can laugh off the insults thrown at me. But I really do think they took it a little too far today. Even if it was just for a good laugh. I certainly didn't find it funny. Dad, I don't want to feel bitter towards them. Help me to forgive them.

Placing this here as a reminder; Is anything too hard for the Lord? No. So ask God for his power to help you conquer sin.

Dad (earthly) really cares about me. Yet I spend so much time ignoring, or getting angry at him. Sometimes I may think that he doesn't understand me, but he really works hard for the family, and really works hard to get to know me and care for me. I'm so thankful for dad. Earthly and heavenly.

So much pain. Take it away. Please.