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they don't care.

my parents don't give a damn whether i get high marks or not. and when i can't do something i get scolded. i get 98 in jap and all i get is an oh. i can't help them fill out a form that i don't even understand at all, they say WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT? YOU'RE SO STUPID. they don't understand me at all. i try my hardest to please them and all i get are these darn comments. i hate it. hy can't they notice at least ONE thing i do. the real reason why i hardcore study for exams is so that my parents will be proud. all they say is, not good enough. you need to do better. why can't you even get above 90. why can't you get an A. what they don't know is that i've tried.

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A "short" update

Huh, it's been quite a while since I've posted here. Trials are creeping closer and closer, and you can't say I'm not stressed. But at the same time I haven't been the most productive person...in fact, I must say I'm very lazy. Less than 2 weeks til trials and I'm sitting here writing a blog. Here's how I've been going. All the drama's died down since last time, thankfully. I'm learning to let it go and not let it bother me as much. At the moment it seems that my parents are keeping a close watch on my sister, and God willing, it won't happen again. In terms of Barney, I can't say I don't have feelings towards him anymore, but it has been better. I guess I'm able to be comfortable around him again. My pain has returned, but what can I do. My menstrual cycle is currently terrible- I think I've bled for almost a month now. The pain is as usual, a pain- especially to manage because my meds haven't been of use lately....

Apparently not stressed enough.

Why don't my parents do the HSC if they think it's so easy? So, basically, I got my report last night and when my dad saw it, he just kept repeating the fact that my marks were crap and that I'm doing horribly. "You should be the top of the school" My mum wasn't any better, saying that I didn't do well and I need to work harder. Why do they only look at extension maths? I KNOW I FAILED IT. As if I don't feel crappy already. Don't cry. You can't cry.  You're not allowed to cry.

Faithful

A timely reminder in the midst of chaos.