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tired.

i've been really tired lately...no idea why...i haven't been staying up too late, i haven't been doing much work and i've been slacking off a lot. but, why am i so tired? oh well. (:

jeshikaaaaaa~ stop thinking that you're an inanimate object, cuz you're not (: you're a human, and yes we are all grateful that you are willing to listen while we talk about problems (: and btw, we are not lying when we say you're NOT fat. i seriously think you're skinny (: i'm a hell heck of a lot heavier than you (though i'm taller) and my stomach is a hell heck of a lot bigger than yours. okay enough with the fat talk. i love youu the way you are. <3 the sweet, bubbly jess who is willing to listen to anyone <3

i've been reading this chinese book, and at the back it says in chinese and i quote in english: "when i'm happy, i silently forget you, when i'm unhappy, i remember you deeply"
that's beautiful <3

"when the heart weeps for what is lost, the soul laughs for what is found" Sufi Aphorism
i've lost the ability to bear children, yet i've found heaps of supportive friends who are there when i need a shoulder to lean on.

and to tiffyy~ remember when you asked me, "how can you still keep a fake smile in your face" i can keep a smile on my face because i know that even though many things have happened, i have heaps of awesome friends there to make me laugh, no matter what happens.

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A "short" update

Huh, it's been quite a while since I've posted here. Trials are creeping closer and closer, and you can't say I'm not stressed. But at the same time I haven't been the most productive person...in fact, I must say I'm very lazy. Less than 2 weeks til trials and I'm sitting here writing a blog. Here's how I've been going. All the drama's died down since last time, thankfully. I'm learning to let it go and not let it bother me as much. At the moment it seems that my parents are keeping a close watch on my sister, and God willing, it won't happen again. In terms of Barney, I can't say I don't have feelings towards him anymore, but it has been better. I guess I'm able to be comfortable around him again. My pain has returned, but what can I do. My menstrual cycle is currently terrible- I think I've bled for almost a month now. The pain is as usual, a pain- especially to manage because my meds haven't been of use lately....

Apparently not stressed enough.

Why don't my parents do the HSC if they think it's so easy? So, basically, I got my report last night and when my dad saw it, he just kept repeating the fact that my marks were crap and that I'm doing horribly. "You should be the top of the school" My mum wasn't any better, saying that I didn't do well and I need to work harder. Why do they only look at extension maths? I KNOW I FAILED IT. As if I don't feel crappy already. Don't cry. You can't cry.  You're not allowed to cry.

Faithful

A timely reminder in the midst of chaos.