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这不是我

My stress levels are pretty up there- on a scale of 1-10 probably at 9.

I can tell, because I've been getting frustrated very often, unable to concentrate, tired and sick.
I'm grumpy a lot, and getting really sensitive to what people say.
My temper is a frail rope about to snap.

Stop it Satan. I don't need you to tell me I'm worse than others. I don't need to you control my temper like it's a puppet. Leave.
God, give me a mind focused on your glory as I work through the year. Teach me to glorify you as I study, being s good witness of you. Keep me self-controlled and alert towards Satan who is always lurking.
Teach me to trust in the Victorious and flee from the evil.

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A "short" update

Huh, it's been quite a while since I've posted here. Trials are creeping closer and closer, and you can't say I'm not stressed. But at the same time I haven't been the most productive person...in fact, I must say I'm very lazy. Less than 2 weeks til trials and I'm sitting here writing a blog. Here's how I've been going. All the drama's died down since last time, thankfully. I'm learning to let it go and not let it bother me as much. At the moment it seems that my parents are keeping a close watch on my sister, and God willing, it won't happen again. In terms of Barney, I can't say I don't have feelings towards him anymore, but it has been better. I guess I'm able to be comfortable around him again. My pain has returned, but what can I do. My menstrual cycle is currently terrible- I think I've bled for almost a month now. The pain is as usual, a pain- especially to manage because my meds haven't been of use lately....

Apparently not stressed enough.

Why don't my parents do the HSC if they think it's so easy? So, basically, I got my report last night and when my dad saw it, he just kept repeating the fact that my marks were crap and that I'm doing horribly. "You should be the top of the school" My mum wasn't any better, saying that I didn't do well and I need to work harder. Why do they only look at extension maths? I KNOW I FAILED IT. As if I don't feel crappy already. Don't cry. You can't cry.  You're not allowed to cry.
ANNOYING LIFE. I was in quite a good mood this morning...i was happy to be able to see a certain someone for 2hrs. i was happy to be around friends. bible study was fun too. even the afternoon was awesomee. yumcha, fbing,msning. BUT... during piano lessons, the teacher angry at me for not practicing when i had already tried my best. my mum started saying things that i don't like to hear. and my dad lectured me. that really turned my mood off. during the WHOLE car trip i was staring out th window thinking and feeling sad. i really wanted to back-chat to them, but i knew i couldn't. so i was just ignoring it...i was thinking to myself: why do my parents have to set high standards for me? why do they think i can't do things when i can if i try. why do they keep pressuring me? they just don't know that the more pressure they put on me, the earlier i will give up something. even if it's something i like to do. i think being around friends is the happiest moment fo...