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What the heck is happening?

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By Annie
I've been praying for a while now that if the feelings toward B aren't of God, then to have it taken away. But, it seems only to have grown. I used to be okay around him- calm and collected. But since he's been back, it's been difficult to calm myself down. From the beating heart that will not slow down until he's gone, to the increased thoughts. Even now just writing this is causing my heart to go a bit crazy. 

I know very well that I am not ready for any relationship of this sort, and I know that I have a lot of things I need to overcome before I am ready. I also know that he doesn't like me, only seeing me as a sister, or even just a friend. 

Gah, I don't know. 

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